*Blog Tour and Review* Panty Whisperer – The Complete Series by Sloane Howell


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I love women. I’m not ashamed to admit that making a beautiful woman come is my main goal in life—one that I accomplish night after night. Women are as drawn to me as I am to them. I don’t get turned down. It’s not a brag, just a fact. At least it was a fact. Until I met Quinn—the one woman who didn’t fall for my easy charm. Now, I have to have her. She may not want to get close, may not want to admit that I turn her on and can give her a night that she’ll never forget, but she was mine the first moment I saw her. Eventually, I’ll have her beneath me, my hands in her hair, and my name on her lips. It’s what I do. I’m the Panty Whisperer.

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TOMMY IS SHAKING his head too much for comfort as I walk up to him at the bar top.

“What?” I ask.

“Nothing, man. Didn’t say a damn thing, bro.”

“Megan tell Quinn?”

He stares at me like I’m an idiot. “Herbert, I just wanna shake the ever-loving shit out of you sometimes. Quinn knew the second she walked by you and you poked your little head, yes I mean both of them, up like a turtle coming out of his shell. Megan tell Quinn? Fucking Michelangelo over here. You didn’t learn shit from Splinter, did you? Fucking honorary Foot Clan member.”

“It wasn’t like that.”

His eyes are about to pop out of his head. “Just save it, bitch. You’re making my life oh so complicated. You’re lucky you’re a hot piece of man meat.”

“But—”

“Don’t!” He bugs his eyes at me again.

“I—”

“I said don’t.” He talks so damn fast I can’t get out a word and his puffed out cheeks are trying not to laugh. His eyes open wider.

“Look—”

“You are terrible at this game, Sir. I said don’t!” He’s on the verge of an aneurysm.

“Fine. You are such a persistent prick. You know that? What the fuck is new?”

He looks away. So smart to have such an obvious tell. He’s withholding information.

“What is it?”

“Nothing.” He won’t look at me, and now I have to know.

His voice gets all high pitched. He’s nervous. “You see the new Force Awakens trailer? If Abrams doesn’t bury that goddamned Binks clown I will murder him, Herbert. I will fuck his Facebook page with the fury of 1,000 angry porn dicks, by god!”

“Tell me what you’re going to tell me.” I inch closer to him.

He shakes his head. “Didn’t work. Did it? Changing the subject. You can’t be persuaded to the dark side?”

“Tell me. I know you want to. Join me, Thomas.”

He looks away.

“Thomas, look at me.” I’m the one bugging my eyes now.

He turns back to me and cackles. “Your Jedi mind tricks won’t work on me, Sir. I am enslaved by the pussy of one Megan, much like Leia tied to the likes of a forty-ton gila monster. I am a Jedi, like my father before me.”

I crouch down in his face. “So be it, Jedi. And now young Skywalker, you will die.”

“Fine, man goddamn!”

I grin huge.

He glares back at me. “Quinn’s leaving town. She’s going to speak at some bullshit conference for their company. And it could be permanent if she does well.” He gasps like he’s been holding his breath for hours.

My heart drops into my stomach. Pain rips through my bones at his words, but I compose myself. “Good for her. I’m sure it’ll be good for her career.” I look around and want to rip the walls off this building and burn it to the ground.

“I’m sorry, man.”

“For what?”

He looks up at the bartender and orders two scotches, then tosses me a look like I’m clueless and want to copy his calculus homework. “I’m sorry.”

I give in and stare down at the ground. “It’s okay, buddy. It’s not like it’s a hundred percent sure thing she’s leaving forever, right?”

“Yeah, well. I don’t know. I wish you two would stop being idiots. Everyone can see it but the two of you.” He stares out the window.

I want to change the subject, but my thoughts are flying back and forth like a Blue Angels air show. “It’s too late, man. Yeah, I love her. But I fucked it up. Can we all please move on?”

His face tightens and his jaw clenches, grinding his teeth together.

Guilt pummels my abs with a right cross.

“You didn’t fuck it up, man. You could still have her. You’re just too much of a pussy to do anything about it.” He slams his fist on the counter, rattling all the glasses down the bar, then turns and walks toward the door.

“Dude, what the fuck? What do you care anyway? Sorry I’m not making things convenient for you and Megan.” I squeeze my glass of scotch so hard I’m worried it might break.

He pauses for a second, then turns back around and walks over to me. His hands are clenched into fists. I don’t know that either one of us has ever been in a fight, so I don’t know what the fuck to do.



**MY REVIEW**

There really is something to be said for male authors. Their style of writing is just… different. In no way is it better or worse than a woman’s. Its’s just different. Back in the day when I first started reviewing books, one of the first sets I read was an ARC of Panty Whisperer. At that time I had no idea that Sloane was a man. I have a female cousin whose name is Slone so I just assumed Mr. Howell was a lady and left it at that. Now… the puzzle pieces fit together.
This book, set of books, novellas – whatever category you want to put it in, was SUPER HOT! Mercy me, Sloane Howell can write sexy scenes that will burn your face off. The story follows Joel (poor fellow’s first name is Herbert so he uses his middle name) Hannover as he wines, dines and 69s every available female within reach. He’s awesome and he knows it. The ladies LURRRRVE him. He can bring a woman to orgasm faster and more frequently than a fat kid can eat a cookie. He has no intentions of stopping or slowing down. And why would he? He’s got everything he could ever want, right?
Enter Quinn… and BAM! Poor Joel has hit the proverbial brick wall. Hes met his match in more ways than one. Without giving up spoilers I must say that I liked Quinn’s character more than I have a female character in the past several books I have read. She was funny, smart and very quick witted.
A secondary character who got a lot of page time was Tommy, Joel’s best friend. I LOVED HIM. I would love to see him get his own book. He and Joel’s dialogue really kept the storyline flowing in between the hotter-than-hot sex and it was a very vital part of the book, IMO.
Even though I had read parts of it before, I was thrilled to get to read the new material and the series as a whole. Sloane Howell is obviously a talented author and I look forward to reading more of his work in the future (hopefully soon)!
I give Panty Whisperer: The Complete Series 4**** WickedGoodStars and appreciate the opportunity to read/review this book!



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Sloane Howell lives in the Midwest United States and writes dirty stories. When not reading or writing he enjoys hanging out with his family, watching sports, playing with the dogs, traveling, and engaging his readers on social media. You can almost always catch him on Twitter posting something goofy.

 

Visit his web page http://www.sloanehowell.com to sign up for his mailing list to get updates on new releases, promos, and giveaways. Thanks for reading.

 

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